Saturday, 9 May 2009

To Me, Love from Me

Hindsight is a powerful thing. Magical some might say. That is probably why we don’t have such ability. The power of it is far too great for us mortals to handle.

Last week I read the God’s letter to his sixteen year old self. By God, I mean Stephen Fry. In it he talks of the difficulties surrounding his sexuality and the repercussions it had growing up. The letter was such an inspired idea that it sparked a mass of replies from regular Joe Bloggs, like you and me; all writing their own letters to their younger selves.

I sat down yesterday intending to read a couple of these letters. There’s something quite alluring about having a window into other people’s lives. I never thought I would spend over an hour reading pages and pages, peeking into hundreds of windows. Hundreds of souls. Because that is what it felt like. I had access to years of resentment and heartache. It’s been a long time since I’ve cried that much. I felt like I was bleeding tears.

It got me thinking. What would I write to my sixteen year old self? If I were to have the power of hindsight, what would I do with it? Some people, a bit like the Old Biff in Back to the Future Part II, would tell their younger selves to bet on winning races. Make the future a little bit richer. Other people would warn themselves away from trouble, be it people or otherwise. Make the future a little bit safer. And me? Read on reader and find out:

To me,

The year is 2009. Firstly, there are no aliens here, robots or flying cars. The Fifth Element, Total Recall and all Philip K. Dick books were not predictions as we so thought. I’m sorry. It’s a big let down. There’s more future to come so fingers crossed.

Secondly, I want you to stop. Put down the book, revision card and highlighter pen and breathe. Look out the window. There’s a world out there. Life. Education is important but you’ll waste enough of your future on it for you to make such an issue of it now. So go out. Enjoy yourself a bit more. Remove that scrunchie and let your hair down. Oh and by the way, you will regret ever wearing a scrunchie. I mean Carrie Bradshaw hates them. You will find out about Carrie and Co in about a year. Oh and don’t stress too much; she does ends up with Big.

I also want you to stop worrying what other people think. You are still doing this now and we are growing weary from all the worrying. Paranoia is not healthy. If you get a bitchy look from someone, it does not mean that this person hates you or that you have done something wrong; it just means they are jealous of something or their face is naturally like that. I’m afraid there have been no developments on a bitchiness cure. Yet.

Unfortunately you will meet a few more bastards on top of the ones you feel have already ruined you. I would name names and tell you to steer clear or murder them if murder didn’t result in prison but alas, I will not. I cannot. Because Lou these people, like it or not, will make you. They will be the reason you know when someone is feeling sad, lost and alone because you have felt that way. They will be the reason you can spot/smell/sense a complete arsehole/twat/bully ten miles away; a very good safe quality to have. In spite of all the crap that will naturally happen, you are still here. And you still have your heart. You are a lot stronger than you realise. A lot.

So just remember, everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end. (I know how much you love quotations). Good luck Kid.

Love from Me

PS: When you go travelling in a couple of years, watch out for the homeless man hiding in a bush on Hollywood and Highland.



  1. This is brilliant. It got me thinking what my letter to my 16-year-old self would be like. You are so right when you say "Education is important but you’ll waste enough of your future on it for you to make such an issue of it now" - because of course, anything you learn at school doesn't even slightly prepare you for anything that happens in real life. And as for sensing a complete arsehole/twat/bully ten miles away, you're absolutely right that it's a very good quality to have - it's a pity that nothing and no-one can prepare you for the amount of pain you have to go through to get that quality!

    What happened with the homeless man hiding in a bush on Hollywood and Highland, or am I not allowed to ask?

  2. Wow, pure genius :) That really does inspire some thought on my part.

    Now, I'm only 18 but I would probably have quite a lot to say to my 16 year old self. I'm going to have to sit down and write a letter as well. When I do, I'll make sure to link back to your blog for inspiring me :)

    And yeah- What did happen with the homeless man? I'm curious now too!

  3. I'm glad that my letter to my sixteen year old self has inspired some thoughts for your own life. That's a bonus!

    As for the homeless man. Well. Aged 19 i was in my fearless stage. This means that i was an idiot and went out late at night by myself. I was walking back from the cinema when suddenly the guy jumps out of a bush near a church. He had a knife and asked for my money. I ran up the hill only for him to follow me all the way there! When i got to where i was staying he shouted that he only wanted me to find Jesus. Needless to say he was a drunk. Or a retard. Maybe both. Still scared the shit out of me! Although obviously not enough because i just went out late at night for the rest of my travels! Stupid fearless 19 year old me!!

  4. What a unique article. I loved your site and your wonderful writing style. I look forward to your next posting.

  5. Ava and Margaret: Thanks for the lovely comments! It means a lot that my writing isn't simply rambles sent to waste and rot in the vast world that is the blogosphere! So thank you. :)

  6. Great thought .......... so empowering !
    I was on one of my lowest lows and yet trying to revive myself from the after shock to bump against "your words -If it’s not okay, it’s not the end" . Words are mightier and much more than they just seem to be .

    Thanks and be blessed .


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