Saturday, 12 December 2009

'Tis healthy to be sick sometimes...'

It's that time of year. The over 65s get flu jabs. Tesco runs out of tissues and Vicks vapour rub. The red-nosed germ infested man breathes heavily down my neck on the central line. Everyone is coming down with something. And so am I. A relentless scratch at my throat. An annoying sniffle. A plague of headaches that will never cease. I am sick. Of. Everything.

I'm sick of hearing about the X Factor. In Sainsbury's. The pub. Boots the Chemist. Even the oldies in the Post Office give me their two pennies' worth. Just the sound of their admiration for the 'sexy' swinging hips of Olly-can't-sing-but-will-probably-win-Murs results in ear ache. Plus an annoying hum that won't end. A bit like the high pitch that accompanied the BBC test card with the little girl and the freaky clown.

I'm sick of reading about Tiger Woods and Tiger's Wood (now an upcoming porno- get ready people). As mistress number thirteen comes out of the woodwork (pun intended) I wonder how he managed to have sex with all those dirty women and play golf. Contemplating levels of sanitation makes stomach heave. Chunks threaten to rise.

I'm sick of Gordon Brown and all the other waste of space MPs who've spent all our money on golden syrup, potted plants and pay-per-view porn. (I've now said this twice in one post. It's getting out of hand- no pun intended).

I'm sick of people thrusting their iPhone's in my space. As if I want to use a phone that doesn't have keys to press and looks like it's been made by aliens. And no I don't care if you have an 'app' that makes the screen steam up like a shower. Will that help me when I need to call 999 after I've had a mental breakdown from all this rubbish? No. But it will look pretty. Sod off.

Henry David Thoreau once said it was healthy to be sick sometimes. If that's the case, I'm the healthiest bloody person I know...


  1. great reference to tiger's wood...i mean, tiger woods. stay healthy!

  2. I'm sick too. Also empathy on the other fronts. Happy birthday! (I was forty on Thursday) Sigh..

  3. Here I thought I was sick, but turns out I'm EXTRA healthy. Bonus!

  4. All right! Tell it like it is!

    I love 'Tiger's Wood'. (I mean the allusion, obviously, not the thing itself)

  5. I'm sick of the X Factor too. Thank god that it'll all be over by the end of the weekend and we'll only have to put up with all the winner stuff til the end of the month.

  6. I've been feeling an awful lot like that of late.

  7. Sadly, i am still feeling like this! What is up with me? That is a rhetorical question- i do not need loads of comments about my levels on insanity. Thank you!

    However, i am pleased i am not the only one to feel this way. I'm hoping it will pass when 2009 is over. Not long now. YAY! :)

  8. Jeez. I just read this again and I sound like a right scrooge. I know that's the point but seriously. Wanna tell myself to shut up! haha ;)


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