Sunday, 14 February 2010

The Book of Love

The Book of Love is long and boring; no one can lift the damn thing. It's full of charts and facts and figures, and instructions for dancing. Apparently, it also contains music, flowers and heart-shaped boxes. A highly original book, I may add.

I did not make this up. All credit goes to The Magnetic Fields- the band- not the electric current.

With all the red-love heart-shaped mess occurring in the world today, it got me to thinking. What if there was a book of love? Would it be of help or hindrance? Let us imagine...

The book is red and pink and the letters 'o' are shaped like hearts. Cupid's soft profile peers from the back cover, his wings embossed gold. He wrote it when his career hit a rough patch; his bow and arrow deemed a dangerous weapon and confiscated at Airport security. Still, the silver lining was a spot on the New York Times Bestsellers list. Every year for eternity. In bookshops it sits between 'How to get rich for life' and the other big seller, 'Instruction manual for Babies, Children and Unruly Teens.'

Every home has one. Pages dog-eared and scuffed from years of reference. When a guy doesn't call, the girl flicks through its wisdom searching for the answer to her prayers. Chapter 5: 'what to do when a man isn't interested' is especially scruffy in most households. When a man can't understand his other half, chapter 11 often comes in handy: 'reading between the lines: a woman's prerogative.'

With this modern age, there is even an e-reader copy of the book available for download, as well as an iPhone 'Love' App. On dates around the world, men and women flick through phones, hoping to avoid a disastrous dinner, just as their dates excuse themselves for the restroom.

Hmm. This alternate reality sounds too Stepford Wives for my liking. Where would our conversations be without date disasters and love woes? Hearts are meant to be bruised and broken sometimes. Love isn't always supposed to be easy. It's dirty and messy and can screw with your head. Much like life. On that note...

Happy Valentine's Day, readers.


  1. LOL very good. Nice blog.

  2. I concur, love should be messy instead of fitting perfectly into a little heart shaped box of chocolates (no Forrest Gump reference there.) But even if there was such a book, I'm all too sure people would still get it wrong :)

  3. “Love”

    Its everywhere; flowing, living.
    But in me it is only one thing, missing.
    In the open to all, but to me eternally hidden,
    And no matter what I try, this pain has me smitten.
    With no escape,
    But worse, with no embrace,
    I find myself sitting, grieving, contemplating space.
    When will I find it, if ever I do.
    I will never discover something so true.

    Its not that I’m upset or even distraught,
    I was just meant to be deprived, to rot.
    Like a fruit with no care, I never had a chance,
    And every gardner passes without the slightest glance.
    With no form of nurture,
    Still looking optimistically to the future,
    But deep down I know I will never get the cure.
    When will I find it, if ever I do.
    I will never discover something so true.

    It encompasses all, but is absent in me,
    But I continue to walk onwards, aimlessly.
    To no point in particular, and following no trail,
    No matter where I go, I will never come across this grail.
    Not to obtain fame,
    Stumbling constantly into shame,
    And the worst part is, no one will remember my name.
    When will I find it, if ever I do.
    I will never discover something so true.

  4. Call me twisted, but some of my date disasters make the BEST stories! They've also made me the tough cookie with a soft filling that I am.

  5. there are tons of books out there about love, but in the end nobody can define love as a manuel for people to follow, so hearts are still breaking and poems are still being written. amen.

  6. Thanks for the comments everyone. I'm pleased no one else wants a love manual, at least not the kind i described! Plus it would be kind of weird, seeing that Cupid is a boy. As if he knows anything of love!

    Sarah- exactly. Without disastrous love i doubt we'd have any of the fantastic poetry out there. Wow. How sad would that be? More broken hearts please. Okay, i took it too far.

    Fish, i do believe we are on the same page. First for everything! ha


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