Monday, 9 February 2009

Random Facts about Me

I signed into my Facebook account the other day to find I had been tagged. It doesn't happen very often but when it does, fear rises within my throat and my heart pounds wildly in my chest. The reason? Photographs. Of. Me. And bad one's at that. But this time I relaxed. I didn't cover my eyes in horror. Someone just wanted to know more about me. Phew!

Here are the rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

I read with interest the new found information of an old friend. It made me realise that, perhaps, there are some basic details about ourselves that seem so inconsequential, we never reveal them. It got me thinking; what don't people know about me? Mmm...well that list is endless and, come to think of it, completely impossible to cram into just 25 points. But I thought it wouldn't hurt to try. So here goes:

1. When I was little, I used to bite glass. Seriously. There are loads of glasses in my house with tiny chunks missing from them (illustrating that I was a freakish child who bit glass and that my mum keeps random crap for many, many years).

2. I really want two dogs- one called Harold, the other called Maude. And I did not know there was a movie called Harold and Maude when I thought of their names.

3. I love New York (most people know this) to the point of obsession. Can one have too many black and white photographs of the same NY skyline? The ‘official’ answer is yes. My answer is no.

4. If I could invite five guests to dinner (dead or alive) they would have to be: Marilyn Monroe, because she fascinates me (and I really want to know all about her and the Kennedy’s); Nat King Cole, so he can entertain us with music; Maya Angelou, so she can tell us all her life story in her amazing storyteller’s voice; Arnold Schwarzenegger because seriously, it’s Arnie and finally, my Nan because I never knew her and she sounds like one amazing lady.

5. Due to the unfortunate connotations of my name (Lou as in Loo, as in toilet) my sister called me ‘Bogroll’ for years. Tis sad but true.

6. I have been known to talk to myself. I am not ashamed to admit this.

7. When I was little I was able to see people’s auras.

8. If I happen upon a cute animal (cats, dogs, monkeys, chimps, penguins etc) I have been known to squeal to a pitch that only dogs and dolphins can hear. I can’t help it; it’s some weird involuntary spasm beyond my control.

9. I am a music buff/freak. I have over 300 CDs (all scratched and in their wrong cases) and am now on my 2nd iPod in three years after excessive use. Consequently, I MUST listen to music for at least two hours a day or I will develop a weird twitch and go insane.

10. I LOVE quotations. But they can’t be a quote of just anything. You can’t put quote marks around ‘this list sucks’ for me to like it. It has to be funny or meaningful. Inspirational works too.

11. I was very fortunate to get my own back on someone who made my life hell in school. Said bully approached me on a train and asked how I was and if I remembered them. My reply was that I had a brain condition which meant I couldn’t remember arseholes. Said bully was stunned into silence. This puts a smile on my face whenever I think about it. YAY for revenge.

12. I was in a choir at school and even had to sing a solo about Jonah and the whale. Fun!

13. I am double jointed and can freak people out with a twist of the elbow and the pulling of my thumb from its socket. As you can see, I know how to have a good time.

14. I have a fear of foxes. When I was about five, I had nightmares that foxes would climb through my bedroom window and claw my face. Even to this day whenever we see a fox in our garden, while everyone says ‘aww how cute’ inside I’m thinking: ‘die evil fox die.’

15. I am one of these people who need things to look forward to or else I lose the will to live.

16. Carrying on my mum’s tradition, I keep random crap. Movie stubs. Post-it notes. Cards. Letters. Stuff torn from newspapers and magazines. Flight stubs. When I went travelling at 19, I even stole the plastic room cards from various hotels across the USA and Australia.

17. My favourite word is ‘bollocks.’ It’s just so expressive. If I could use it in every sentence, I would.

18. I am the most accident prone person ever. If there is something to hit, fall over, fall on, I will do it. Even if there isn’t, I’d fall over myself. I’ve even caught my foot in my own trouser leg.

19. I have the same career goal now as I did when I was eight: to be a writer. Success never came into it so if I can finish my novel and write something every day, I’ll believe I’ve achieved my goal. Even if no one ever gets to read it.

20. I bungee jumped when I was 19 years old.

21. I secretly fancy Billy Idol and David Bowie. Well, I used to secretly fancy them. Now I just fancy them.

22. I silently mock the women in the gym who try to work-out in a full face of make-up. Ladies. Get. A. Fucking. Clue.

23. I get so angry at books and movies with sad endings. They lead you on with their happy beginnings and happy middles and then the ending appears where the lead character dies and I’m left feeling like I’ve been stabbed in the chest. If I wanted to feel that way, I’d go out and get stabbed. And don’t give me all that ‘well, real life is like that…real life is tough' bullshit. Books and films are about escapism. I don’t read books and watch movies for reality bollocks. I leave that to Big Brother.

24. I think Shakespeare was a genius. Yes, we moaned about reading his plays at school but hundreds of years after he died, we’re still reading. There’s only one word for him. GENIUS.

25. Obviously I cannot count to 25...

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