She lives where no one can see her. But I can. I know her face, the shade of hair, the shine of eyes. I hear the tone of her voice and how it breaks when she's angry with me. A lips quiver with a fleeting memory. The violent twist of her hands when she's uncomfortable. To my surprise, she constantly changes her mind. I build expectations and she knocks them down before I'm finished. Lego beliefs strewn across the floor.
My novel's protagonist. Antagonist, more like. Sure, she was never set in stone. I never knew what she looked like, what she believed in. What she ate for breakfast. That is not how I work. I am not a planner. I don't do spider-diagrams or character maps. I write.
But now my protagonist has leaped from the realms of character and is flesh, blood. She is a person with skin, veins, feelings and secrets untold. She has evolved beneath my fingertips. With every heavy score on the keyboard, she breathes life. I feel like Victor Frankenstein - without all the stealing of dead body parts.
Of course, I have not created a monster. Nor do I feel disgust when we are together - there in on the blank page, cursor blinking. But I am afraid of her. Of what she can do. I lead her along one route and she resists, wishing to go another direction. I want her to say one thing and yet she says something else, unexpected. I feel like she is writing this book and I'm just the body to use.
Is it normal - to be overwhelmed and lead by your character? Reader, what do you think?
It's that element of surprise that keeps the writing interesting. Keep it up!
ReplyDeleteI've only just started on my novel so can't answer just yet, but I talk to Keren from wheniwasjoe.blogspot.com...she's a novelist and talks in very much the same way as you. Things just start happening to her characters, apparently - almost without the help of her fingers.
ReplyDelete*Plentymorefishoutofwater - One Man's Dating Diary*
I beleive that once you have a character who is real enough to be a person, you don't know how to control them, they are mysteriouos, suspiouse, mean, nice, beautiful, ugly; then and only then have you created what an author dreams of.
ReplyDeleteit's wonderful and terrifying to see how imagination works--or not work--for you. not an easy jouney but a lot of fun.
ReplyDeleteYeah i think its normal. Writing a novel isn't easy. Its supposed to be hard work. And if you've got a good strong character, isn't that the best starting point? I can't wait to read it.
ReplyDeleteMy characters evolve as I create them, I never expect to have, nor have I ever wanted to direct them, but's that's my way. Every writer has their own creative process. I believe the writing doesn't come from me but rather through me.
ReplyDeleteGreat to "see" you again Lou.
Go with the flow! If you're writing without effort, you're in a good place. Even if she's leading
ReplyDeleteYeah I’ve had that experience, where the character just seems like its real and you’re only reporting what’s happening. I reckon its one of the thrills of writing, the imagination racing, fingers clicking on the keyboard desperate to write, to capture what your minds creating.
ReplyDeletewhen you start a character you think "they will be like this" you may not know what they look like or even their name but you will go through the day thinking that is something she would have said or done. we are not in control of our characters yet we build them from the ground up. we build them until they can stand alone like rearing a child. we still give them what we can, we give them roots but when you have built them up you truly hope you have made them strong enough to fly. you hope that you have given them wings.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comments everyone. I know novel writing is an individual experience but sometimes when i'm writing it freaks me out how the story changes- how my character suddenly takes it in a new direction that i hadn't thought of until then. But for now i'll take that. It's a far better experience than writers block, that's for sure.
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading! :)
I've just been reading through your blog as it's been a while since I've had the chance and I love the diversity of every post, the creativity and the inspiration.
ReplyDeleteThis has inspired me and made me realise I need to get in touch with some of the old characters who I'd given faces and traits then abandoned years later...this has made me want to get back to my writing so thank you :)
Also on the posts of your own writing, you have a beautiful and fluid style which I really admire.
I think you'll go far :)
Mizzholborow: Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read. I always appreciate it. I'm so thrilled that i've inspired you to go back and look at old characters. There is always some gem hidden in forgotten work. I've been there. Best of luck with it. :)
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