I had a fight with Father Time. The scythe-wielding bastard tried to kick me up the backside. 'What are you doing with your life? Time is ticking. You'll be thirty before you know it.' At which point I threw his hourglass to the floor, scattered glass and grains of sand. It probably explains why I went to sleep in July and woke up in September. Blog wise, that is.
Reader, I appear to have reached that stage. The mid-twenties alarm has bleeped. Of late, everyone has a question about the direction of my life, questions swathed in the fabric of time. 'When are you going to settle down?' 'What career path do you want to follow?' 'You know you're not getting any younger...?' And so on and so forth.
Seemingly, the countdown has begun. A peaked sense of urgency to abide by conventions. I'm stuck in The Game of Life. I'm a little pink peg in my little plastic car and, apparently, I need to put my foot down. Marry a blue peg. Buy a house. Have 2.4 children and live happily ever after. Roll the dice, take these steps and do as others must.
But what if you want to take one step forward and three back? Appreciate the journey, ignore the destination. Enjoy the unexpected. Are you going against nature just because you deplore the stereotypical sense of life's expectations? If I don't tick a box on the list of lifetime achievements, is that a life half lived?
The truth is I don't know where I'm going or what I'm doing. There is no dreaded sense of urgency or desire to conform. No fear of setting down roots before I wilt. I appreciate the unknown, the randomness that is my life. I enjoy playing the game, just not by the rules.
To ask me what I'm doing with my life is like asking a monkey for the square root of pi. You'll never get the bloody answer...
Ah Lou. The thing is, you can ask this question about your particular life's direction on any given day. Five years from now, ten years, twenty.
ReplyDeleteI find such questions very intrusive and critical. I am more curious about the person who asked the question. Because you cannot be categorized? Because the querent is nervous for you or jealous or simply can't think of anything else to say?
One can easily go down a path in a sure-footed way and find, years later, that it wasn't the right thing at all. Is that better? I'm not sure.
I think you can/should only do what you want to do. So few of us have that luxury. You're relatively young, especially in city-dweller years. You have a long road ahead of you. Enjoy it!
Great, great post, Lou. I think we share the same mentality. I too have no desire to settle down and buy a house in the suburbs. That sort of thing has never appealed to me.
ReplyDeleteThose who conformed will ask themselves in their old age? "Why did I bloody conform? Why didn't I enjoy the unknown while I can?" So enjoy it. A normal life is not a fun one and you can't grow from it.
ReplyDeleteUr back! Where u been 4 so long? Another great post. I can relate to that i've felt scared myself that i was getting too old to do certain things, like have kids and stuff.
ReplyDeleteGood 2 see u back. Kate. x
Grab the self-doubt and put it into your poetry. Trite as that may sound, you will eventually thank me. And though I may be dead by then, I will find a way to appreciate it. Do we have a deal, dear poet?
ReplyDeleteLoved this post - it's of a very similar theme to the book me and my co-writer are working on. No one writes about approaching 30...
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I hope you're well Lou - try to keep the posts coming.
*Plentymorefishoutofwater - One Man's Dating Diary*
You have a nice blog going. Before your time, people do not even have such an avenue.
ReplyDeletehttp://gforce-guru.blogspot.com/
so im back on blogspot with a new blog
ReplyDeletehttp://itsacocothing.blogspot.com/
check it out and follow if you like it:D
cute blog btw!!
xoxo
Thanks for all the comments guys. I appreciate you taking the time to read my blog, always. :)
ReplyDelete