Monday, 7 September 2009

I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser Gate

God be damned, I cannot sleep. Again. My insufferable affliction forces my body through sleep deprivation for the forth day in a row and results in the use of phrases such as 'insufferable affliction.' I sound like I ate an Austen novel. Indeed.

During my sleepless state my mind starts to wander to insane possibilities. I have discussed this previously. I won't recount how I discovered the secret of time travel but you can read that lovely episode here.

At 1.05 this morning half the world was quiet. The only light was the orange flicker of street lamps and the moon's milkiness behind scattered clouds. Out of my bedroom window I peered at the black, the still. The quiet tried to soothe my heavy lids, to no avail.

I paced; quick fevered strides that didn't care if they woke the house. My hands gripped my temples. Eyes narrowed. Blinked once, twice, a hundred times. In the corner of the room stood Rick Deckard. What the hell was the Blade Runner dude doing in my bedroom? I smiled. He smirked.

I got into bed certain I should be certified. 'It's only the insomnia. Not real. Not real. You're just sleep deprived that's all. Not real. Not real.' I pulled the duvet over my eyes like a child who'd just spotted the Bride of Chucky crawling in the shadows.

Eyes scrunched tight, I willed my brain to shut down but Rick Deckard had ignited my imagination, was pushing it into gear. All of a sudden, I was off...lost in a world where illegal replicants were causing havoc on Earth and a man suspiciously like Rutger Hauer was spouting poetry at random intervals. Oh, wait a minute...

It begs the question; why does my sleep deprived mind always end up trapped in a science fiction film? Maybe my subconscious is trying to tell me something. Should I be worried, like, Matrix worried? It's possible...isn't it?

See. I told you. My level of crazy rockets to demonic heights without sleep. This morning I was a sky high ninety-five.

But for now, all these moments will be lost in tears in rain...time to sleep...


  1. If you feel that there is something to be worried about, your subconscious may be trying to tell you something. Your mind may be trying to work something out or trying to fix it. I don't think you should be "Matrix" worried. That may be going too far, but nonetheless, you should see what might be making you sleep less and having strange hallucinations.

    Good luck with getting sleep though. :)

  2. Abigail, thank you for your concern. I do write mostly with jest and humour. Though my insomnia is a very real and persistant problem (one i've had for years- it flares up- peaks and troughs), my dreams i describe here are just that; imaginary. I do not hallucinate, just have some very strange dreams invoked by lack of sleep. I turn these into a story, hopefully a humourous one to see the funny side of not sleeping for a week!

    But, good news, last night i slept for more than 2 hours. YAY me!


  3. 2 hours??? Wow, I thought I needed sleep w/ my new baby... but I'm getting 5 hours. Perception is reality.

    Like your site. When you have a second, check out my words...


  4. Lou: Haha. I actually thought you were hallucinating, but after reading it a second time, it actually makes sense that it is a story. :P My bad. I was up late last night when reading it, so my mistake.

  5. Dayne: Yes, 2 hours! It sounds kind of surreal, doesn't it?! But 5 hours isn't much better though as the baby grow- luckily- it will get better for you. I hope so anyways!

    Abigail: Hehe. Believe me, i have hallucinated before. I'd gone 8 days without sleeping at all. I started seeing...hell, i don't even know what it was but i was terrified. Let's hope that never happens again!


  6. I quite enjoyed this. Nice post.

  7. Hiho, I'm just new on this here blogging interweb site and somehow found myself on your page. It's great, by the way. Carrying on with the whole sci-fi theme you've got going, how about some Twelve Monkeys hallucinations? Good movie! Mind if I follow your blog?


  8. Hello! Welcome, I always appreciate new followers.

    Hunter: Glad you enjoyed the post. Hopefully I will write some more stuff for you to enjoy!

    CrackityJane: Welcome and thank you! I am yet to have some Twelve Monkeys hallucinations but it may help it i watch the movie before attempting to sleep! It's definately more f***ed up than Blade Runner! hehe.

  9. Lou... WOW! What a write. Fantastic style and presentation and choice of words IMHO. Someday, you'll be on many bookshelves.

    Stop by sometime... humor, opinion, resources and adventure at


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