Saturday, 26 March 2011

Things I learned today

And I'm not even a student any more...

1. Clichés are truths in overused disguise:
This morning, I watched a woman deposit two armfuls of men's clothes across the pavement; anywhere her feet passed. She screamed epithets of 'all men are bastards!' at any person who dared to pass, whilst throwing the contents of some bloke's now empty wardrobe. First cliché of the day: hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. At lunch, I listened to the couple at the next table loudly voicing their moaning mumbles of how dreary a life can be. For forty-five minutes they experimented with how long one can talk before breathing is a necessity. Second cliché of the day: misery loves company (and makes me wish I was deaf).  

2. Human nature dictates that people like to be close, too close (and I don't like it): 
During the off-peak hours of my gym, I blissfully ran in the middle of a long line of vacant treadmills. So why did a woman feel the need to climb onto the one next to mine, when there were so many others free? I felt, somehow, violated. Like I was seated on an empty bus and the next person to climb on board felt compelled to squeeze their arse into the space next to mine. Maybe I'm weird but I don't need to be so close to somebody that I can tell whether they brushed their teeth that morning. If you don't breathe the same air as another human being for longer than five minutes and you feel lonely, I don't care. Give me some space, damn it! S P A C E. 

3. Live with your parents long enough and you will regress:
On my return from the gym, my mum asked me to tidy my room. In the hall I stood, transfixed by her expression, plagued by a sense of déjà vu. I'd seen that face before, painted with irritation, the jaunt of her frame; hand fixed on hip, finger pointed in my direction. Quite suddenly I was five years old, gazing up at my mum as she moaned about the state of my bedroom floor. Even then I liked to dress it up with clothes and shoes, stacks of books and an old guitar. There was a method to my madness. Aged five, there was a reluctant understanding of her request. I did what I was told. But aged twenty-six? I climbed the stairs with the discovery that you can never be too old to get a telling off from your parents. God help me.

4. Book editing eats time for breakfast, lunch and dinner (and makes you cry):
Re-reading nearly three hundred pages of my novel is an all consuming process. Thirty-five pages in and I've lost three hours, two thousand words and my sanity. And so, I've realised. By the end of this process I will have square bloodshot eyes and a body stuck permanently in seated position. And, most probably, I'll be thirty years old. Oh joy. 

5. Novelties really do wear off:
A shiny new phone is only 'new' until next month when a newer one comes out, and only shiny until I drop it in the sink. This will happen. Eventually. Instant downloads of new music loses its thrill once you've pressed the repeat button fifty times in as many minutes. That never happened when I used to buy albums on cassette tape. The rewinding took too long to bother. And I no longer feel glee when watching Glee. Now that really is sad. 

So reader, what did you learn today? 


  1. Hi Lou,

    Great post! I was feeling a little down in the mouth this morning and you've made me smile. Thank you!

    Hope you have a good weekend.

  2. That reminds me, I must tidy my room. I wonder how long the novelty of the Nintendio3DS will take to wear off? Not that I even want one. I love my old first generation DS.

  3. What a great post. Really enjoyed this one. I learned how to work my washing machine today. It's only taken me a month. LOL

  4. I avoid cliches, and I always will until the cows come home. ;)

    Good luck with the editing!

  5. It's probably a cliche, but we keep learning what we already know. That might say something about degrees of knowing. Something for me to think about when I'm on the treadmill.

  6. I've learned that renovation is only fun if you have a new house and money is not an issue. :)

  7. Great Post and so true. Life is a cliche (another one!)Great piece of writing, I'll be sure to keep an eye out for future posts.

  8. hm.
    I agree. These are things/truths you learn with experience.

    However, with #5, I encourage you to actively see things with new eyes. Falling into the trap of #5 means you fear the worst, you play it safe, you think way too much about how things will be and neglect appreciating how things are now, at this moment, when things are still shiny new.

    Try not to fall into that trap. Try to stay young at heart as long as you can.

  9. What I learned today can actually find something good on the internet by just googling 'good blogs' for the hell of it, watching the movie of the book you just bought and hold while watching the movie is redundant and a waste of money, and if you take a pull off the Ketel One bottle you bought only two hours earlier and realize it's already half empty it might be time to talk to somebody. Preferably someone with a degree in one of the fields of medicine.

    I enjoy your thought process. So this is what they meant by happy accident.

  10. Cliches are fantastic. They get overused to the point where we don't know what they really mean anymore.

    But occasionally you hear one in just the right way, as if it's been stripped naked and presented to you (if only women were the same way..) and yeah, they hit you write in the heart.

  11. Thanks for the comments everyone. And Kitty: that is so true of me, particularly of late. Maybe I need to snap myself out of that one after all. :)

  12. Today I learnt that you really can not be too trusting with anything. Case in point; I moved into a new house yesterday, was robbed on the very first night!! And everyone said it was a nice area!! LOCK YOUR DOORS PEOPLE! (Granted its our own fault)..... I like your blog, this is the first post I have read!

  13. Hi Lou :)
    Just became the latest fan of your blog...Love the concept of your writing. It has personal elements, but you mention morals and things that affect people all around the world also...Everyone can relate to it. Hard to find stuff like that...
    awesome stuff...

  14. Anon: Welcome. Thanks for the comment. How terrible to be robbed at all but on your first night in a new house? I'm so sorry for you. I hope it gets better.

    Jason: What a lovely thing to say. I write for people like you. Thank you so much for understanding and appreciating. I'm so grateful. :)


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